Music! You love it, yeaaaaaahhhhh. So I’m bringing you a monthly list of songs that should be in your iPod, MP3 player or on your CD’s and Cassettes  (you know you still have some).  I would like to say that this list is put together after some extensive research but I would be lying – these are mostly songs that I like (you’re bound to like at least one so read the list anyway). So until next month, enjoyed ya, love ya.
– Shely Beats.
Pure. Music. Genius.

The Bob Your Head and Tap Your Feet List.
This list is made up of songs that either put you in a better, move people to the dance floor, make you bob your head while driving – and dance in your chair while at work.

“This Is How We Do It” – Montell Jordan.
“Just Fine” – Mary J. Bilge.
“Gasolina” – Daddy Yankee.
“La Vida Es Un Carnaval”- Celia Cruz.
“Girls Just Want To Have Fun” – Cyndi Lauper.
“Smooth” – Carlos Santana, Rob Thomas.
“1,2,3, Step” – Ciera.
“Turn The Beat Around” – Vicki Sue Robinson.
“Thriller” – Michael Jackson (you know someone is going try the dance and fail and its going to be funny).
“We’re Not Gonna Take It” – Twisted Sister.
“Jump, Jump” – Kriss Kross.
“Material Girl” – Madonna.
“Shout” – Otis Day and The Knights.
“Bohemian Rhapsody” – Queen.
“Straight Up”- Paula Abdul.
“Jitter Bug” – Wham!
“I Wanna Rock-n-Roll All Night” – Kiss.
“Love Shack” – B52’s.
“Summer Time” – Fresh Price and DJ Jazzy Jeff
“Let Me Clear My Throat” – DJ Kool.
“You Gotta What I Need” – Biz Marquee.
“Right To Party” – Beasty Boys.
“Whoop There It Is” – Tag Team.
“Tootsie Roll” – 69 Boyz. (Shout out to MelMann!)
“Le Freak” – Chic.
“Now That We Found Love” – Heavy D and The Boyz.
“Gin and Juice (Laid-back Remix)” – Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre.
Anything from a Drop-Jamz CD.

By virtue of my brother playing in bands since he was 16 and my parents thinking it prudent to bring a 4 year old to seedy, disgusting hole-in-the-wall bars, I have been going to concerts pretty much my entire life. In this time, my tastes have cultivated and altered, bands I’ve listened to have grown older and less relevant, but in this changing landscape there has been one constant, the mystery of the opening act. There have been innumerable times in my life, when I have counted down the days until one of my favorite bands arrived in town, waited in the requisite 2 hour line outside the venue, and fought my way through the sweaty, teaming masses to the front of the stage, only to have all the anticipation crushed in one 3 minute debacle from the opening band. This is the inescapable Pandora’s box associated with every live performance.
There will be nights when you will be lucky. On Tuesday night, it seemed as if I had hit the jackpot as the first band that went on stage was surprisingly good. They were Scottish, brash, in your face, energetic, and did I mention Scottish. It was like William Wallace without the now creepy Mel Gibson connotation. So far off to a good start. As the second band walked on stage, the air grew still. Appearances alone sounded a silent alarm. The guitarist looked as if the Edge had grown a handlebar mustache and wore uniform from the Popeye ride at Islands of Adventure. The drummer was 140 lbs overweight. The lead singer looked like he fell out of a “Vertical Horizon” video. The bassist looked like “Where’s Waldo.” The 2nd guitarist looked exactly like the creepy guy from “Superbad,” you know that dude that accidentally hits one of them with a car and then tries to make it up to them by being extraordinarily creepy. All this and their name was the “Twilight Sad”… I was hoping that the name was the derivative of maybe one of their girlfriend’s reading the “Twilight” book series and they were just depressed that people would read such banal tripe, unfortunately, after seeing them, I think that this book may have been the Holy Grail to their existence.
This group was the kind of tools who were trapped in between trying to play low key, laid back music and trying to spastically and suddenly rock your face off. It was like a magician that for every three times he pulled the most drab, uninteresting rabbit out of a hat, the 4th he pulled out a naked midget who flipped you the bird. In the gray area between, they simply lulled everyone in the building to sleep while trying to look like they were rock stars. I’ve been to parties where people playing guitar hero had more stage presence than these wannabe hacks. Everything was a contradiction.
Handlebar mustache Edge and Where’s Waldo Bassist stood like statues, while the Vertical Horizon- listening lead singer flopped around on stage like the fish at the end of the “Faith No More” video. He kept doing that reverse head stand pivot like he had just been suplexed while singing. As a sidebar…can anyone think of good bands with lead singers? I was trying to do this.
There are a few exceptions, but by and large, if the singer isn’t playing an instrument, I don’t trust him. Aside from their appearances, their music was just so terribly boring and formulaic. Most songs were a cross between terrible era U2 and modern, uninspired Morrissey.
To make matters worse, they committed the cardinal sin of all bands who think they are really rocking out; the protracted, choreographed ending jam out. You know the bit, the lead singer does the nod and walks off stage while the rest of the band make cataclysmic noise. Now this, like most musical things, can be awesome if done well, i.e. Pete Townshend and the rest of “The Who” breaking all their instruments on stage. When good bands end the show on a note like this, they have worked the crowd into a frenzy and the last song they played was an epic, well established, crescendo. When the “Twilight Sad” did it most people were playing tetris on their iphones, staring at them in jaw-dropped disbelief (me), or fastening a rope on one of the tall cathedral beams at the social. Nobody, however, was rocking out.
These poor delusional souls even went so far as to do the age old trick of de-tuning their guitar while playing to make the noise even more ear piercing and chaotic. They are just lucky they were at a show with a bunch of Indie rockers and hipsters who probably had walk on roles to that trippy Prius commercial where everyone is dressed in leotards like they are the earth and sing folk songs. If these people had been bloodthirsty “Jonas Brothers” fans, there may have been a riot.
When the delay pedals finally ceased holding out the droning wall of noise, a stunned silent crowd finally began to stir. One by one, braver parishioners began to realize they could speak and, more importantly, drink again. Like a single beam of light that broke through a gray and miserable sky, Frightened Rabbit eventually took the stage, and there was again peace and skill back in the musical world. Even though many of the concert goers left the show very happy with the performance of the band they had come to see, they won’t soon forget the lesson learned. No matter how great the band you have been waiting to see maybe, there are times where there is no way to prepare yourself for the trauma you will have to endure just to listen to said band, that’s why it is always recommended that you drink plenty of alcohol.