When watching Kitchen Nightmares, from an outside perspective, it’s easy to see why restaurants go wrong. However, when your in the thick of it, it can be difficult to examine your own faults. While there are many unique situations that lead to a restaurant under-performing, after watching several seasons of Kitchen Nightmares (purely for research purposes, of course), I’ve made a short list of what every restaurant owner can learn from the show.

1. Go Simple

After the initial launch of a restaurant, the menu is often tweaked – more menu items are added, and often few are taken away. After a few years, you have a menu as long as your arm with writing on both sides. Although this gives the customer plenty of choice, it can also overwhelm them. On the show Kitchen Nightmares, when restaurants have menus the size of religious texts, one of the first things Gordon Ramsay does is ask them to prepare every dish. As a restaurant owner, if that thought makes your toes curl, it may be time to cut down your menu.

Gordon Ramsay isn’t the only one who can drive this point home. One of the greatest restaurant success stories in recent years is Chipotle. Their signature is a simple menu with few ingredients that can be combined multiple ways; it offers variety to the customers without keeping too much in stock. In fact, they don’t have any freezers on the premises. While not every restaurant can do that, it may be worth taking a page from their playbook and simplifying your menu.

2. Go Local

A big trend these days is locally produced fruit, vegetables, and meat. This isn’t what we’re talking about, necessarily. One of the quickest ways to drive out customers is to ignore their tastes. Yes, if you are a Chinese restaurant in a Midwest town, by all means serve Chinese food. But if you are putting cultural oddities like cow’s lung on the menu and taking off General Tso’s, don’t be surprised if you alienate the majority of your customers. If in doubt, ask customer’s opinions about how comfortable they are with your menu. Which brings us to the next point…

3. Listen To Customer’s Criticism

Gordon Ramsay often says that he doesn’t listen to his customer’s praise, only their criticism. It can be easy to dismiss a few complaints if you’re getting plenty of praise, but the truth is that most customer’s are too polite to tell you if something’s gone awry. Patrons can be talking badly about the cuisine or service, yet when the waiter or maitre d asks how the food is, they’ll smile and say “Fine.” Not many people enjoy confrontation.

That’s why you must pay attention to all observations. For every negative comment, you can bet that five or six other people have thought about it. Use the critique to improve your business, and make sure your customers know you heard them. Don’t turn away from the negative Nancys; they may just be the only ones telling you the truth.

4. Eat What You Make

It’s simple: if you wouldn’t eat it, chances are your customers won’t, either. Don’t let anything leave the kitchen without checking to see that it’s the best it can be. Also, as a restaurant owner, if you have items on the menu that you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole – no matter how good they were made – either take them off your menu or get someone you trust, like your head chef, to try them out from time to time.

It’s easy to let things slide over time. To help keep your quality up to snuff, take a photo of each dish when it’s excellently prepared, and display them in the kitchen. Make it each cook’s goal to produce top notch products, and with a photo of each dish on the menu, you can make sure they are living up to your ideals. Then, it must be said again, don’t let anything leave the kitchen that you wouldn’t eat.

5. Gauge Your Competition

Restaurants don’t operate in a vacuum. Sadly, some patrons will choose some other restaurant over yours tonight. Tonight, some customers will think about going to your venue, and then decide to go to another based on an individual litmus test. To reduce the number of times this occurs, gauge your competition. You may think your restaurant is unique, and it probably is, but that doesn’t mean that customer’s don’t have options.

When visiting another restaurant, pay attention to the prices, the staff, and the quality of the food. You aren’t there to note all the ways your restaurant is better; be honest with yourself. What are they doing better than you? Once you know that, you can improve your own restaurant and keep more of your customers.

6. A Restaurant Is A Business

One of the premier issues Gordon Ramsay has with restaurant owners on Kitchen Nightmares is that they are using their restaurant as a hangout, or a badge of honor, or as their personal kitchen. Yes, you are the master of your own domain, but if your restaurant isn’t making money, it’s not going to be your domain much longer. Even if you have a family-run operation, separate personal and professional life. Make sure the staff (even if you are related by blood) knows that you are the boss.

The first thing you should examine if you are running in the red is yourself. What can YOU do to improve the business? Often it can mean making the hard decisions – firing employees, scrapping the menu, changing the decor. While a restaurant can be an extension of your own personality, if it’s not making any money, all you have is a prohibitively expensive hobby. Do what you need to do to become profitable, then inject your personality into the business.

7. Fresh, Fresh, Fresh

It can be tempting to use precooked food or keep food right up to it’s expiration date. Think about it carefully before ordering that next shipment of chicken tenders – what do you want when you go to another restaurant? Do you want a piece of Purdue that has been seasoned and fried weeks before you stepped through the door? This kind of goes along with “Eat What You Make.”

Fresh just tastes better, and although it can be a little more work, it’s also usually cheaper. The payoff comes in the smiles your diners have after tasting something that’s uniquely yours. Do yourself a favor, set yourself as far as possible away from a frozen T.V. dinner, and use fresh produce and protein. Set yourself up for a positive long-term reputation and don’t skimp on the ingredients.

8. Use Secret Diners

What goes on in your restaurant when your not there? Wouldn’t it be nice to know? Invest in secret diners – there’s plenty of companies that can set you up with one. If you can’t do that, invite some extended family or acquaintances for some free food. Let them be a little unruly, sending stuff back to the kitchen or asking for special favors, but not too hostile that the staff gets suspicious. If you can swing it, let them keep an audio or video recorder on them to get the action on tape – this may come in handy later.

You may be surprised at the results. Some hostesses may get snotty when you’re not around; some waiters can get a short temper. If you find that their actions when your secret diners came in were beyond reprimand, you now have them on tape in case they attempt to sue you for wrongful termination. After the first run, let the staff know that secret diners will be coming in periodically. As long as they think you could be looking over their shoulder at any time, they will be on their best behavior – even when you are in Bermuda on vacation.

9. Get Your Name Out

Even successful companies market themselves. Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, Pepsi – you may have heard of them – spend millions every year on ads. They know that successful marketing means a successful business. While you need to carefully examine your budget before shelling out radio or television ads, you can easily market yourself on the cheap these days. Facebook and Twitter allow you free platforms to get your name out there, and it’s very handy for restaurants with an already loyal following.

Don’t be afraid of using old-school methods, either. On Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsay will often take samples out to the streets to give to potential diners. People love free food regardless, and if yours is especially good, you know they’ll be back for more. Just make sure they don’t forget your name – hand out business cards and wear t-shirts with your restaurant’s name on them when you hand out food. You don’t want people wondering “What was the name of that restaurant with the awesome samples, again?”

10. Take Pride In Your Work

We’ve saved the best for last. If you care about your restaurant, it will be successful. If you don’t care, there’s no way it can. Be proud of your restaurant. On Kitchen Nightmares, if Gordon Ramsay doesn’t think a restaurant owner is passionate, he’ll suggest they find another career. In all seriousness, if you don’t like food or people, there’s little chance your restaurant will succeed. You have to be in it for both.

The upside is if you are passionate about people, food, and money, no one can stop you. You must be a little passionate if you’ve made it this far in the article – congratulations! Go out there, use these tips, and rule the culinary world!

Restaurant chains are becoming more ubiquitous than ever before.

It seems that the same tired, identical restaurants are popping up on every street corner, limiting your choices for a unique meal. Breaking away from the formulaic restaurant offered by others, Mellow Mushroom offers a dining experience unlike any other.
 
In 1974 three students from Georgia Tech set out to create a restaurant with a different approach to the chains they found surrounding the university campus. Originally catering to their peers, they established a place where students would feel welcome and could partake in the two major food groups in college; pizza and beer. Not wanting to be like any other pizza place before it, Mellow Mushroom established an atmosphere of individuality, creativity, and fun. This notion of individuality can be found within Mellow Mushroom’s very culture and identity as each of its own subsequent locations are uniquely themed; no two are alike.

 
Winter Park, Florida is fortunate enough to be home to a Mellow Mushroom location that is as colorful as they come, sporting a theme centered around The Beatles. And while the restaurant could neither confirm or deny that former Beatles Sir Paul McCartney has been in for a slice during one of his many visits to nearby Rollins College, we’re sure that the theme’s attention to detail would make him proud.
 
As it approaches its 8th year in its Winter Park location, Mellow Mushroom has become a local institution and popular haunt for families and college students in the area. Though they enjoy a loyal following, their popularity was hard-won over the years through savvy advertising and amazing fare. Through participating in local events, including the “Taste of Winter Park,” Mellow Mushroom announced itself to the community and quickly became a premier place for pizza. According to the location’s manager, Charla Hamelin, what sets Mellow Mushroom apart from other pizza or Italian restaurants are the “fresh ingredients and local produce.” Citing one of her favorite dishes, the Kosmic Karma, Hamelin explained that Mellow Mushroom takes traditional ingredients and adds its own flair to the pies.
 
One of the signatures of the Mellow Mushroom is the crispy, steamy, soft, rich dough. It’s darker in color than they typical bleached-flour variety, but it’s not wheat, says Charla. She gave us a few hints, including the addition of high-gluten dough and spring water, but the bulk of the recipe is held under lock-and-key. Together, the combination of fresh ingredients and exclusive dough make for an unparalleled pizza experience.
 
While the initial draw to the restaurant is the delicious fare, what keeps patrons in their seats is the extensive selection of craft beers. Hand picked by bar managers, typical selections like Budweiser and Miller are replaced with more robust and flavorful beers from either the bottle or the tap. Seasonal rotations keep the selection fresh and relevant to, well… the season. If customers aren’t familiar with the beers offered, they have the option of tasting several selections in the form of a paddle (4, 4oz. Glasses).
 
Don’t be shy about coming in to this eccentric establishment because Hamelin says, “Everyone is welcomed.”  Even if you are looking for a deal, Facebook and Foursquare will often advertise appetizer and drink specials such as “Pint Nights.”  Mellow Mushroom is also home to trivia nights if you are looking for entertainment with your dinner. This unique gem can be found at 2015 Aloma Ave Winter Park, Fl 32792, however multiple locations can be found on their website www.mellowmushroom.com.

Running a successful restaurant in this economy is not an easy task, but for Richard Rogers, a part owner for Hot Olives in Winter Park, this success has been going 12 years strong. Originally located in Hannibal square , this “simple gourmet” restaurant has been flourishing in its new location on the corner of New York and Fairbanks Avenues. Richard and his business partner, Glenn Partin, made their beginnings far from the restaurant industry, but soon found themselves as owners of a restaurant following the wild success of their former catering business aptly named “The Striped Apron”. Borrowing from the restaurants signature garnish- a hot green Queen olive adorning each sandwich, Richard and Glenn’s new venture took on the name “Hot Olives”. And the rest has been history.

Hot Olives’ motto is “simple gourmet,” a notion that is followed and brought to fruition with each dish offered. When asked the meaning of the motto and its origin, Richard responded, “The best ingredients; the simplest ingredients is all you need to make a great dish. Quality is our main goal.” Based on our experience in sampling some of the restaurant’s fare, Richard is absolutely right.

Hot Olive’s crab cake sandwich featured plump crab cake placed between a lightly toasted Kaiser roll with key-lime remoulade, lettuce, onion, and tomato. While the ingredients seemed to adhere to the restaurant’s motto of “simple”, their presentation and taste were anything but. We found ourselves wanting more but a bit too embarrassed to ask for a second helping. We recommend leaning from our mistake and ordering two during your next visit.

One thing that makes this simple gourmet establishment unique is the undeniable feeling of a neighborhood restaurant. Richard claims, “We’re like a country club. We have the best of the best clientele.” Locals, including many Rollins College students and faculty, have become regulars of Hot Olives, especially since it is within walking distance of the campus. Some patrons even have house accounts based on their loyalty to the restaurant. To recognize some of these loyalties, you can see various menu items with names of a few of their customers in order to personalize the experience and the dishes such as Hadley’s Cream of Mushroom soup.

If you have never been to this time-honored eatery, Richard can best describe it as, “Clean, friendly, the best food in town.” It’s hard to dispute Richard’s opinion of the place since the food was delectable, the décor was charismatic, and the staff was unbelievably welcoming. You can find this Winter Park charm at 601 South New York Avenue Winter Park, fl 32789.

With the “pink slime” fiasco, it’s a good time to re-evaluate ingredient lists. There is the occasional restaurant that buys from local farms, but it’s not always easy to get the steady stream of quality products this way. The truth is that whether it’s meat or poultry, fish or veggies, restaurant owners typically buy from a limited number of suppliers. But where are the suppliers getting it from?

Perhaps an example of how food gets from source-to-plate through a supplier, let’s take, just as an example, Sysco. They carry national brands, but much of their business comes from their own brands. Their seafood division, named “Portico Seafood,” is one of the largest operating seafood purveyors in the world. It advertises that it offers “quality, consistency, traceability, integrity, and competitiveness.” Is this true? It is true they trace their products back to their source by modern tracking methods, and they are working toward greater sustainability.

Other larger suppliers are working to compete in the arena of sustainability, organic, and locally-grown foods. If you are not sure where your products are coming from, the prudent thing is to ask – they should know. If they don’t know, it may be time to switch vendors.

One of the surest ways to know where your food supply is stemming from is to buy locally and physically visit the farm or fishery that your food is coming from. It’s the single-best way to know what you are serving your customers. However, as noted before, buying purely locally can lead to supply issues; if there’s a bad season, or you want food that is out-of-season locally served year-round, buying from a supplier may be your only option.

There is also the issue of what your customer wants. Does organic matter to them? Sustainability? Don’t try to greenwash your restaurant if the customer is only considering value. Even if you must buy at a bargain, it still doesn’t preclude you from shopping around when it comes to suppliers. The more you know about your food, the better you will feel serving it to your customers, and the more your customers will thank you in the end for a delicious, quality product.

Food safety is a primary concern for every foodservice professional. For more than 60 years, Cambro foodservice equipment and supplies have earned the trust and loyalty of customers and public health professionals alike because their products are designed with food safety in mind.
Cambro’s owner and CEO, Argyle Campbell shares his company’s focus on food safety.

Q: What is StoreSafe and how does it relate to Food Safety?

AC: StoreSafe is our commitment to food safety. It’s at the heart of everything we do—from product design and testing to manufacturing and educating our representatives and customers about safe handling practices. StoreSafe identifies Cambro products that help foodservice operators meet food safety guidelines. But it’s so much more than that. It’s also about safe materials. With so many imports available, our customers look to us for FDA-approved materials that are made in NSF-listed manufacturing facilities.

Q: What is your level of experience as it relates to food safety?

AC: First of all, let me clarify that we are not claiming to have the level of expertise of a health inspector, food scientist, or public health official. We understand intelligent product design and the correlation it has with food safety. So while we may not be food experts, we are experts in how our products help support food safety and we want to be as transparent as possible when it comes to this issue.

Q: Do you feel operators and consumers are more concerned about food safety now than in past years?

AC: Yes. Consumers and operators are forgiving of many things. One thing they are not forgiving of is food safety issues. We understand that when a foodservice operator uses our products, they trust them to perform. That trust is based on consistent performance over the years.

Q: What key message do you want the audience to walk away with?

AC: Food safety is first and foremost about protecting lives, but it also is about protecting your brand. Food safety never takes a day off. If you are dealing with a food safety issue, it’s already too late. The whole basis of StoreSafe is to try and look at the food safety issue from a proactive standpoint, and not just a reactive standpoint. It’s doing the right thing, not only for the customer, but also doing the right thing for your brand.
 
 
 
 
From our friends at Cambro Manufacturing.

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Restaurant Equipment World™ is proud to announce they have become the first dealer in the foodservice equipment industry to release an iPhone/iPod/iPad/Android app.  The new app, appropriately named “The Restaurant Equipment App” allows for restaurant operators to browse and purchase tens of thousands of foodservice items from the company’s catalog and 220+ internet sites.  It also includes other features such as a manufacturer’s directory and real-time online order tracking.   Restaurant operators can even ask questions about equipment which are promptly answered by REW’s highly trained sales and support representatives.  The app also allows for quick access to the company’s REWrite Blog, Twitter feed, Facebook page and various equipment videos.  The app is compatible with all iOS devices including the iPhone/iPod/iPad as well as more than 200 million Android devices in use.

While this is the first iOS/Android app from the restaurant equipment dealer community, it may surprise some to learn that it’s not the first industry app ever.  Restaurant Equipment World™ earned that title too when it introduced the first app for the Palm VII handheld device back on October 2, 2000.  Brad Pierce, President of REW stated, “Back in those days, people would give me strange looks as I held the little device in my hand, wondering what in the world I was doing.  They were shocked when I told them I was connected ‘online’ wirelessly.”  Soon after its Palm VII app debut, REW was the first to create a full WAP mobile site followed by the first Windows Mobile site in the industry.  The company’s modern day “Restaurant Equipment App” is a world apart from its earlier predecessors, although according to Pierce, it shares a common lineage of ensuring that REW is always on the cutting edge of technology to better serve its customers.  Pierce added, “this initial version of our app is just the beginning.  We’re committed to continue engaging our customers using mobile platforms so there’s a lot more to come.  The next version is already under development and will be packed with even more great features.”  The app will automatically update itself in a few short weeks when it’s released.  While it’s likely others in the industry will follow suit and develop their own apps, Pierce and his team are thrilled knowing there can only be one original “Restaurant Equipment App”, and that title will forever be held by REW.

Restaurant Equipment World™ (REW) is based in Orlando, FL and also has operations in Dubai, UAE.  REW was founded 35 years ago by Jerry E. Pierce and serves more than 100,000 companies in all 50 states and more than 110 countries internationally.  REW operates 220+ online websites featuring more than 36,000 products.  REW is a wholly owned subsidiary and trade name of Pierce Sales Company, Inc.  PSC also operates Chef REX™ (www.ChefREX.com) which sells residential kitchen equipment.  PSC also operates Critical Supply World™ (www.CSWonline.com) which handles rapid procurement of critical equipment and supplies for disaster and conflict areas worldwide.  Brad Pierce is President of the organization and Patty Nuzzo is the Vice-President.  Restaurant Equipment World™ is a proud member of FEDA (Foodservice Equipment Distributors Association) and the SEFA buying group.

iOS App URL: http://itunes.apple.com/app/restaurant-equipment/id483062879
Android App URL: http://market.android.com/details?id=com.restaurantequipment

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Another unique quality of this place is the bar list. Many restaurants on Park Avenue wouldn’t dare to have Pabst Blue Ribbon as a beer on their cocktail menu, let alone serve it in a brown paper bag. However, Brandon says, “We wanted to be a neighborhood restaurant,” which is exactly how this place feels. Stemming from Luma‘s loins, you might expect a more formal atmosphere out of Prato, but instead you get that “farm house,” relaxed feel that is “almost completely opposite of our sister restaurant, Luma.”

Brandon also talks about how he keeps his staff so knowledgeable, especially with the seasonal and daily changes made to the menu. “It’s a train-as-you-go program”, Brandon tells us, where the servers get tested weekly. The servers don’t only get tested on the menu weekly, they also have a say about what is on the menu. When asked if the staff takes part in any of the decision making for the menu, Brandon says, “Yes, they are very imperative to the success to a certain dish. Their input is very welcomed.”

The food, the drinks, and the service were all a pleasure. This down to earth Italian restaurant located in Winter Park is definitely a new hot spot on Park Avenue. Get there early, though, if you want a seat at the bar. Otherwise, enjoy a candlelit seat on the outside patio or cozy booth in the corner. Bar or booth, the cozy atmosphere and ever-changing array of wood-fired foods of Prato lets you experience a taste of Italian countryside in your own backyard.

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Follow Prato on Twitter:@PratoWinterPark

Many times, it can be easy to overlook this part of your menu – you put the pre-packaged Folger’s in the brewer, pour in some water, press a button, and voila – your customers get their daily dose. But what makes some people go to Starbuck’s and spend maybe twice as much to get their coffee over yours? It’s about time you make your coffee so good it becomes your customers’ favorite morning ritual.

But how?

Before we can talk about how to make it better, we should first discuss the basics of how it’s made. The first thing to note is that the coffee “bean” isn’t really a bean at all – it’s actually a roasted seed from the coffee plant. The seed is picked when it is inside the coffee plant’s cherry. To add to the confusion, the “cherry” isn’t a cherry at all, but a drupe – a more generalized description of a fleshy fruit with a pit. We’re not botanists, so from here on out we’ll simply refer to it by the misnomer we all know and love – “coffee bean.”

There’s literally hundreds of species of coffee plants, each with it’s own flavor. The plants take four or five years to mature, and then will produce a harvest for fifty or sixty years thereafter. Once the plant is grown, and once the 9 month ripening period is over, the fruit from the coffee plant is picked – usually by hand. Once picked, they are dried, and the outer layer is separated from the seed. The coffee is shipped unroasted – this is known as green coffee.

As a restaurant owner, all of this matters in regards to how the coffee you serve your customers tastes. Because of differences in soils and water cycles, coffees from different regions taste different: the Americas provide a crisp taste, the African coffees are often more acidic with a lingering aftertaste, and Indonesian coffee tends to be bolder. For mornings, American coffees are a crowd-pleaser – strong enough to wake you up, but not so strong that it’s considered a dessert coffee.

Once the coffee has been picked, stripped, and shipped, it needs to be roasted. Roasting is an art and a science, with the temperature and length of time changing depending on what type of result is desired – stronger coffee requires a darker roast and longer heating time, lighter coffees require a lighter roast and shorter heating time. After roasting, the beans take on the familiar dark color, and the roasting brings out the natural flavor so it can be transferred during the coffee making process.

Restaurants generally serve a medium roast coffee in the mornings, splitting the difference for patrons. To stand out from the crowd, it may be a good idea to offer both a dark and a light roast, or to offer a medium roast all the time (a “house” coffee) and a different specialty coffee or roast every day or week.

Once roasted, coffee is ready for grinding. Many restaurants, perhaps yours included, leave this to the experts, and buy coffee in already-ground form. Once you expose ground coffee to air, it starts losing it’s flavor, leaving you with blander coffee later in the week than at the beginning. Some coffee connoisseurs turn their nose even at the least offensive pre-ground option, which is vaccuum-sealed single-serving packages. Even though no air can reach the contents, and they don’t lose their flavor over time, there still may be a legitimate reason for this abhorrence.

When you grind your own coffee, the dust that is created doesn’t stay in the grinder; it floats throughout your establishment, creating a distinct and delicious smell – one that is oft-loved even by non-coffee drinkers. This alone may be a good reason to grind your own coffee. Besides this, however, fresh-ground coffee does just taste better, and you have more control over how it is ground. There are probably entire books devoted to how to make the daily grind, but for simplicity’s sake, we’ll just note that grinds go from coarse to fine. Coarsely ground coffee is used for specialty brewers like the French press or even more exotic Toddy cold-brew method. Finely ground coffee is used for espressos and other specialty brewers like the AeroPress. Since you are more than likely using a conventional drip-coffee brewer, a medium grind works best.

So now that you have your coffee ground, just throw it in the coffee maker with a filter and some water, and you’re good to go, right? Almost.

First, if you still use paper filters, it may be time to make the switch to a non-disposable filter, usually made out of fine metal or plastic mesh. Paper filters absorb coffee oils, removing some taste from the final result. Not that much, mind you, but if you are looking to serve your customers the best, it’s something to consider. Also, you’ll be cutting down on costs in the long run, as well as keeping filters out of the landfill.

Secondly, since black coffee consists of 99% water (shocking, I know), it’s important to know what’s going into it. The difference between filtered water and regular water is night and day, so you can imagine what happens to the coffee when you put hard water that smells like eggs in your brewer – not good. So, get a water filter; if you are a low-volume coffee-serving operation, Brita will work, for larger volumes, a dedicated in-line water filter will be best. Trust me, your customers will thank you.

That about covers the basics. Feel free to send us a Tweet if you liked this article or learned something from it, and if you want to purchase a coffee machine from us, visit www.coffeemakerworld.com. A new coffee machine, with the aforementioned tips, may just be the ticket to getting a boost in your early-morning traffic.

Sure, your kitchen equipment can handle the day-to-day tasks of a restaurant and the rigors of a fast paced food service operation, but can it handle a true torture test? What do you do with a piece of equipment that simply won’t perform or falls short of your expectations?

Here at Restaurant Equipment World, we pride ourselves on offering the best quality equipment at he lowest possible prices. It sounds a little sales-y, but its absolutely true. We take that same mentality and apply it to the hundreds of pieces of used and consignment restaurant equipment that we currently carry, holding each piece up to the highest of standards for quality, performance, durability, and reliability.

So what exactly happens when we find out that a used piece of equipment doesn’t measure up? Click on the video above and find out for yourself.

We take restaurant equipment sales seriously. Very seriously.

For more information on our standards of quality, email us or check out our website.

Submit your own ideas by sending us a tweet (@REWonline). We’re always looking for cool new ways to punish sub-par equipment.

I finally got my hands on an Orange Coke at a Freestyle machine.

It was a fizzation of flavorful bursts of orange followed by the familiar syrupy sensation of carbonated (artificially flavored) kola nut juice sliding down my esophagus.

However, the rest of the line-up that I attempted before succumbing to uncontrollable fits of burping consisted of beverages that required, shall we say, acquired tastes. Seagram’s Lime Seltzer was a flavor that, while not soon forgotten, I wished it were. Soda water has never been a favorite of mine, but with the added lime flavor, it’s bitterness only grew. To each their own, I suppose.

As for Fanta Lime, with the not-soon-forgotten Segram’s deeply ingrained in my mind, the lime flavor was only a painful reminder. Perhaps on another day, after full amnesia, will I be able to objectively describe it. After soothing my distressed palette with a few ounces of Orange Coke, I went back to the single-serve machine for more. They were out of Minute Maid lemonade, which I assumed would go well with several flavorful additives, so that was out of the question.

In lieu of that, I gave Vanilla Barq’s Root Beer a try. I was pleasantly surprised; the vanilla gave a soft edge to the already smooth root beer, this combination completely earns the title “soft drink.” This, while not quite as enticing as the Orange Coke, certainly should be on store’s shelves.

All in all, it was a liquid adventure that I will want to repeat. After all, I have about 120 more flavors to go. Maybe Orange Coke is only a sliver of taste compared to another caffeinated corn-syrup concoction within.